When I first met you
by HalfwaytoNowhere142
Summary: COMPLETE: Santana & Brittany are freshmen at McKinley. Being in Cheerios, Glee,  & class together causes them to become friends. Soon, Santana starts to feel something more than friendship. Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters or anything related.
1. First Day of School

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters, etc.**

**I have to give some credit to TheJiffyLube6 for the idea of how Santana became a cheerleader, because you mentioned in your story "Roommates" that Kurt wondered how Santana had ever been a cheerleader because she didn't seem the type. So, thanks! :) Sorry for any typos. It's late and I don't feel like re-reading it again... :)  
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"I'M NOT GOING! I'M NOT GOING TO BE SOME LAME CHEERLEADER!"

Santana slams her bedroom door in a fit of rage. Her mother is insisting that she try out for the Cheerios, McKinley's cheerleading team. As an incoming freshman, Santana doesn't want to appear like every other girl out there. Cheerleading is lame. She needs to build up a reputation so she doesn't get picked on by any pathetic losers. She needs to show people that Santana Lopez isn't someone to mess with. She certainly can't do that if she has to join the fricking cheerleading team.

"SANTANA MARIE LOPEZ! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE, NOW!"

Santana sighs and considers ignoring her obviously upset parents. She knows better, however. She can't afford to get grounded already, before school even starts. She drags her feet out to the living room and finds her mother sitting on the couch.

"Santana. You will try out for cheerleading. End of discussion."

"But, Mom... cheerleading is so stupid. Everyone will make fun of me."

Her mother rolls her eyes. "No. You will see that you will be very popular if you are a cheerleader. Just trust me, Santanita."

"Look. Obviously, you're not going to let this go so I'll try out for the frickin' team. Happy, now?" She strolls back to her room without an answer. Her mother doesn't come after her; they don't have the best relationship. Her father is always gone and her mother works all the time. Not to mention they have completely opposite personalities.

Santana sighs and groans. "I can't believe I might actually become some wimpy cheerleader..."

The next day is the first day of her freshman year at McKinley High and Santana walks in like she owns the place.

In her first class, she's forced to sit next to some kid named Finn. The kid is dumb, and Santana makes sure to tell him so.

"Look, Dopey, I clearly don't want to work with you on this lame science experiment, but since I have to, you are going to do exactly as I say. Just because you're the guy doesn't make you in control here. Got it?"

Finn only nods. "Uh, okay, Santana. Are you always this mean?"

"Shut up."

She isn't, of course, but if it takes being mean to protect herself from being bullied, then she'll do it.

She somehow manages to make it through Spanish, history, lunch (where she ended up sitting with a bunch of tough kids she knew from last year who she really wasn't friends with) and mathematics. Her only class left for the day is English.

Her English teacher is a little too excited about the subject, if you ask Santana. Seriously? What's so exciting about Edgar Allan Poe?

She sighs and props her hand on her chin as she doodles on her notebook, when the door suddenly opens and a wisp of a girl, with blonde hair, walks in the room with a confused expression on her face.

Mrs. Pillsbury stops exclaiming about the wonders of metaphors enough to smile at the girl. "Hello? And you are?"

The girl shifts her backpack higher on her shoulder and Santana's eyes are drawn to her cute, white, sleeveless shirt and tight black pants. Combined with the girl's golden curls, she's very pretty. She's exactly the type of person Santana shouldn't be hanging around with. A wimpy, pretty girl who will probably get asked out a million times and teased even more.

"Um... Is this the English room? My schedule says room 3, oh, 4, but I couldn't find the room..."

Mrs. Pillsbury frowns and checks the sign on the front of the door. "No, see, it says '304' on the front of the door. This is the right room."

The girl only shrugs. "Oh, well my schedule had the numbers "three, the letter o, and a four" not "three, zero, four"... I thought they just put an "o" there so the letters wouldn't feel left out. They always use numbers, so I bet the letters feel sad sometimes."

Everyone stares at the girl in shock, not sure if she's being serious and a feel people start to snicker and make snide comments about her obvious stupidity. The girl smiles in oblivion and gracefully walks over to a chair next to Santana (no one had dared sit by her after she glared at them) and she sits down, with a smile in Santana's direction.

"Hi! I'm Brittany! I like your hair!"

"Santana." The compliment about her hair was the first nice thing anyone had said to her today. That, and the fact that Brittany smiles at her (even though she was glaring) and offers her some gum makes her instantly like the girl, despite her best effort not to.

Mrs. Pillsbury claps her hands. "All right! Everyone turn to the person next to you and analyze the poem I have given everyone. It's Edgar Allen Poe's 'Raven'. Any questions?"

Brittany slightly raises her hand. "Um... Why did he have a raven as a pet? Isn't that like against the law or something?"

A boy calls out from the back, "No, stupid, it wasn't his pet. Did your parents drop you on your head when you were little?"

The rest of the class laughs in an uproar and Mrs. Pillsbury attempts to calm them down. While she is doing so, Santana watches Brittany's reaction to the comment. She ducks her head and winces, as if she is physically hurt. Tears spring up in her eyes but she quickly wipes them away and pretends to start reading the poem.

Santana cautiously reaches out her hand and rests it on Brittany's bare shoulder. "Hey. Ignore them. They're just losers."

Brittany glances up and smiles tentatively. "Um... thanks. I'm used to it, anyway."

For some reason, something rises up within Santana, something she has rarely felt before. She has the sudden urge to shield Brittany. Some might call the feeling one of protectiveness. This innocent, freshman girl was so beautiful and so untarnished by the world. She shared her feelings on her sleeve and clearly cared about others. She didn't deserve to be made fun of, and she was the first person to be nice to Santana all day. As much as she doesn't want to like Brittany, she has to say something.

"You shouldn't be. I bet you're much smarter than you give yourself credit for."

Brittany glances up again from the poem. "Thanks! I wish everyone was as nice as you, Santana."

"Yeah, well, not everyone can be as awesome as I am..."

Brittany's giggle tells Santana that they're past the hurt feelings over the boy's rude comment.

After school, Santana has to stick around and try out for Cheerios. As much as she doesn't want to, she doesn't have a choice. After yesterday's heated discussion, her Mom threatened to ground her for a week if she didn't try out.

She walks into the locker room with her ultimate Lopez "don't mess with me" attitude and changes into her sweats. As she is putting her other clothes in her locker, Brittany walks into the room and makes a beeline for her.

"Santana! Wow, are you trying out for Cheerios? That's so great! Maybe we'll both be on the team."

Okay. Helping Brittany out earlier when she was being teased was fine. But becoming her best cheerleading, sissy pal? This girl was starting to get on her nerves. At least, that's what Santana tries to convince herself as she notices Brittany's toned body and nice curves. She's just jealous, that's all. She isn't in quite that good of shape... yet.

They make their way out to the gym and find a panel of cheerleaders and the coach, Sue Sylvester, staring at them condescendingly.

The other tryouts watch as one by one cheerleader-wanna-be's get called to tryout. Almost every time, the girl ends up crying and running from the gym. Sue is really harsh.

Soon, Santana hear's "Lopez, Santana!"

She steps up in front of the panel with confidence and nods her head to the nerdy kid manning the c.d. player to start the song.

She gives the performance her all (even though, thinking back, she shouldn't have done that if she didn't want to be on the team. But, Santana Lopez does not do anything halfway): She does cartwheels, flips, a handstand, random cheers, the splits, the Mickenly cheer and more.

When she's finished and out of breath, Sue studies her for a moment. "Well, Lopez. Clearly, you're out of shape and overweight. Your cheers were pathetic. Where did you learn that, kindergarten? Are you some demented, deranged monkey? That's how you looked, Lopez! But, obviously, I have no choice but to accept you. Take your uniform and work out those flabby arms before 6 a.m. practice tomorrow!"

Santana is tempted to respond back heatedly, but she doesn't, for once. She's heard rumors that a girl once stood up to Sue and ended up needing psychiatric treatment. Who knows what happened. Some suspect that Sue gave the girl a cat and snuck into her house in the middle of the night and punched her in the face. The girl couldn't stop having nightmares about it after that... At least, that's what they say.

Santana stays to watch Brittany audition. She doesn't know why she does. Actually, she does know why. If she didn't stay to watch, she would surely see the same hurt feeling on Brittany's face next English class that she did today after the boy teased Brittany.

Brittany nods and the music starts. She does a double back-flip, a somersault in the air, and many, many cheers. She's astonishingly good. Santana was not expecting her to be so amazing. Clearly, Brittany was a graceful person. Santana couldn't help but admire her lean movements.

"Well... Pierce, is it? I've heard you're dumber than a piece of chalk, but you'll do. Work out those skimpy legs, though, would you? You don't have hardly any meat on them. I need girls who can hold up my pyramid, not topple it. If you screw up, Pierce... Man, the selection I have to put up with these days..."

Brittany only smiles in exultation and bounds over to Santana. "We did it!" She drags Santana back to the locker room and goes on and on about how much fun this is going to be. Fun isn't what comes to mind when Santana thinks of getting up at 6 a.m. the next morning, but she can't help but smile at Brittany's cute antics. Maybe this won't be so bad after all...


	2. Friendship?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters, etc.**

**Just to get this story going... here's another chapter. Enjoy! And please, please review and tell me if I should keep going :)  
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6 a.m. The world shouldn't exist at this ungodly hour. But, unfortunately for Santana Lopez, it does. She somehow manages to wake up enough to drive to school for her first ever Cheerios practice. She wants to skip but her mother continues to hold the threat of grounding her over her head. So, she pretty much has no choice.

"Good morning, Santana! Aren't you excited? Our first ever Cheerios practice!" Brittany jumps up and down in glee while Santana manages to grunt in what she hopes is an acceptable response for this time of morning.

The two girls, already in their cheer-leading outfits, copy the actions of the other cheerleaders and begin stretching.

Brittany glances at Santana as they do so. "So... did you get our English homework last night? I don't understand why this Poe guy was so depressing. I think maybe he didn't know about rainbows."

Santana bites back a laugh. "I'm pretty sure he knew about rainbows, Brittany."

"You never know."

Their conversation is interrupted by Sue, who makes some derogatory comment about their pathetic team this year and orders everyone to complete five rounds around the track.

Brittany and Santana run next to each other. Santana debates running ahead to get Brittany off of her back. The girl is trying to be her best friend and Santana Lopez does not have best friends. Once a loner, always a loner... Anyway, just as Santana is about to ditch Brittany, another girl from their year comes into step next to them.

"Hey! You're Brittany, right?"

"Yeah. Hi!"

"I'm kind of surprised you made the team. But listen, I heard you are really dumb and you need above a 3.0 to stay on this team. We can't afford to lose anyone, even if it's you. So, don't screw up, okay?"

Santana stares at the girl in anger. How dare she say that to Brittany? Brittany isn't dumb; she just has a unique perspective on the world, that's all. She glances at Brittany and sees the same hurt look in her eyes from the day before and that weird protective feeling comes up again.

"Listen, ugly, Brittany here is going to be just fine. She doesn't need freaks like you telling her what to do."

The girl stops running and faces off with Santana. "Excuse me? Did you just call me a freak?"

"Yeah, got a problem with that?"

"Yeah, I do. Besides, I heard that you're some sort of loser whose Dad doesn't even like her enough to stick around."

Santana hit her on the cheekbone before the girl saw it coming.

"HEY! Newbies! Your lazy butts aren't running! What's going on here?" Sue comes storming over to them.

The girl rubs her cheek. "She hit me coach."

"I only hit her because she insulted both me and Brittany."

Sue studies all three of them, taking in Brittany's worried expression. Clearly, Brittany doesn't like it when people fight.

Sue points her finger at the girl, a redhead. "Don't insult other members of this team. We are a team, is that clear? You deserved that punch."

"Yes, coach."

"Good. Lopez, if you ever do that again I will ban you from my team, is that clear? I don't need any of your Lima Heights drama here."

"Yes, coach."

"Good! Now run another two laps, all three of you."

The girls groan but resume running again. Brittany glances at Santana out of the corner of her eye.

"You don't have to stick up for me, you know. First yesterday and now this. I'm used to it."

"Britt. I want to stick up for you, okay?"

"Okay... It's just I've never had a friend do that for me. We are friends, aren't we Santana?"

"The best." Santana forget about her original attempt to get away from Brittany. She couldn't help it; the girl had drawn her in: hook, line, and sinker.

She could still be tough, though, even on the Cheerios, which was good to know.

* * *

><p>A few weeks later...<p>

"SANTANA! Guess what? They're starting a Glee club here! We should totally join!"

Santana glances up from her phone. "Um... no."

"Why not?" Brittany pouts because she knows Santana will give in once she sees that look. The two had spent the last few weeks getting to know one another and they were quickly becoming best friends.

"Please..."

"Britt-Britt, I'm just not very into the whole geeky musical stuff, okay? If you want to try out, though, I'll totally support you."

"Okay. I guess that's all right. But, I'm not going to give up on you. I know you're just a big softie at heart."

"SH! Brittany, are you trying to ruin my reputation?"

Brittany only giggles as she leans against the lockers and stares at Santana. Santana can't help but smile back. Something about this girl makes her so happy. Being around Brittany makes every day amazing, as cheesy as that sounds.

"C'mon. Let's go to English and hope Mrs. Pillsbury doesn't want us to write another essay on the benefits of personification."

"What's that again? I think I got that answer wrong on our test. I thought it was a person who has a fixation on something, but that wasn't one of the answers. Mostly, I was distracted because I kept thinking about how I want a pet armadillo who poops rainbows."

Santana laughs. "What is it with you and rainbows, Britt?"

"They're pretty, that's all!"

The girls continue down the hall, laughing and giggling. For once, Santana doesn't care who sees her giggling. So what if she doesn't appear as tough as she thinks she does? She just want to be with her new best friend, Brittany S. Pierce. Somehow, she has a feeling that this is a friendship made to last.


	3. Unwanted Thoughts

"SANTANA...santanasantanasantana! Guess what?" Brittany jumps up and down in excitement as soon as she finds Santana in the gym.

Santana looks up from stretching before Cheerios practice. "What's up, Britt? Why are you so excited?"

"My parents said you could sleep over this weekend. Do you want to?"

Santana doesn't hesitate. "Of course, Brittany. What day?"

"Friday to Saturday? We can stay up late and watch Free Filly on dvd. And you'll get to meet Mr. Tubbington!"

"It's Free Willy, Britt. Mr. Tubbington?"

"He's my cat. Actually, he's really a person but he's trapped as a cat for life. And he likes to eat lots of fried food and cheese fondue. It's his special diet because he's overweight."

Santana can't help but smile at Brittany's cuteness as she stands up, but she doesn't attempt to tell Brittany that the 'diet' clearly isn't healthy. "All right then, Friday it is."

"YAYYY!" Brittany tackles her to the ground in her excitement and lands halfway on top of her. Brittany's face is inches from hers and for a minute, the desire to kiss her flits through Santana's brain as Brittany breathes on her face and her warm body presses against Santana's side. _What the heck? I don't want to kiss her. That's gross. And wrong. I'm just tired, that's all._

Sue Sylvester calls to them to 'get their skinny butts in gear if they don't want to find themselves being beaten by the tiny little gnomes Sue apparently owns'.

The funny thing is, even though Sue yells at them the entire practice and tells them how much they suck, Santana can't wipe this ridiculous grin off her face. And she tries to deny it in her head, but she knows that Brittany is the reason for that smile.

And that scares her, because Santana Lopez tries not to care about anybody too much. It only ends in heartache.

* * *

><p>Friday night came way too slowly, but it was finally here.<p>

Santana told her parents where she was going (although her father, of course, wasn't around). After her mother spent about a half-hour questioning her (cue eye roll), Santana was almost out of there.

"No, Mom, I'm not going to have sex. It's a girl, not a guy, gosh! Can I go already? Or do you need to make sure I'm not hiding a vial of vodka in my bra or something?"

"SANTANA LOPEZ! Do not speak to me that way. I am only concerned for your safety, bonita."

"I know. I know. I'm safe. I'm healthy. Life is great. Yada, yada, yada. Loveyoutoo,bye!" Her mom doesn't trust her at all. Just because last year she snuck out of her room and went to a bar doesn't mean she's totally untrustworthy. She only does that when she's bored, and she gets bored a lot, not that her mother needs to know that.

When she arrives at Brittany's house, the door is wrenched open before she managed to knock. An arm reaches for her own arm and grabs her, pulling her into the house.

Santana hopes she came to the right house... otherwise this could be bad.

To her relief, Brittany's attached to the arm. Not some creepy guy with a white mask and chainsaw.

"Hey Britt-Britt! Ready to get this party started? Get our snackin' on?"

"Hi San! Yes! I'm sooo excited. Your the first best friend I've ever had come over for a sleepover, did you know that? My mom wants to meet you."

They walk into the kitchen and Brittany's mom smiles. "You must be Santana." Santana feels her giving the once-over, to make sure Santana isn't some sort of weirdo or bully. She smiles politely and she must have passed the test because she's offered a seat by the table full of delicious food.

Brittany's family is different, but loving. They clearly love Brittany for who she is and that makes Santana envious. Why can't her family be like Brittany's?

After dinner, they walk up to Brittany's room and Brittany introduces her to Mr. Tubbington. Santana politely shakes his paw, although she feels ridiculous doing so.

They sit down to watch a movie and that's when Brittany says it.

"Wow. That girl is so hot! Don't you think, Santana?"

Santana doesn't know how to respond. None of her other friends have ever commented on the girl in the movie, only the guy. She's always noticed how hot the girls look, but she usually just ignores those thoughts. They're not natural. "Um... I like guys, Brittany. But, I suppose she looks okay."

Brittany smiles in response and her hand unconsciously touches Santana's own. Brittany's soft skin against hers causes Santana to feel something welling up within her... attraction? She glances sideways at Brittany, admiring her profile, and wonders what Brittany's lips taste like.

She almost gasps at the thoughts she's having. _What the hell am I thinking? What is going on?_

Santana Lopez spends the rest of the night reminding herself that she's straight.

Except... even she cannot lie to herself long enough to stop herself from admiring Brittany's beautiful curves as they get ready for bed.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone out there! This story hasn't gotten that much response so I'm not sure how far I'll continue with it but we'll see :). Just wanted to apologize for taking FOREVER to update - that's not like me. I've been working on another Brittana Fic - Courageous. If you like Brittana, feel free to check it out. <strong>

**Also wanted to mention that I don't believe homosexuality is unnatural or that anything is wrong with it. I'm just expressing what Santana thinks and believes at this current moment because it's what she's been wrongly taught. Okay? Okay! Great. Terrific. Superb. :) **

**Please review and I will be your best friend forever and, heck, I'll buy you a car if you want! (Note: the last statement is untrue and is not subject to any requests or forwarding of money, hahahahahaha...wow I'm tired). **


	4. Glee Club

She cannot believe Brittany finally got her to join that stupid Glee Club. Sure, Santana likes to sing, but not when people are around to hear her. To judge her.

Brittany walked in on her singing in the locker room one day. It was after Cheerios practice and everyone had already left, so Santana thought, _'what the heck! I might as well sing!'. _She's singing Adele's _Someone Like You_ when a hand suddenly alights on her shoulder.

"Never mind I'll find someone like-AHHH!" She turns around and there's Brittany with this ridiculously huge smile on her face.

"WHAT THE HELL, BRITT? Are you trying to kill me?"

Brittany grins again. "Sorry. Wow, Santana. You have an amazing voice! You HAVE to try out for Glee Club! Please please please please please please please please please..."

She tries to ignore the pleading but Brittany stays at her side, pleading until Santana can't take it anymore. She finishes combing her hair into a ponytail and rolls her eyes.

"Fine. I'll try out, okay? Just to make you happy because there's no way in hell that I want to be seen with a bunch of music dorks. Who knows what this is going to do to my reputation?"

"Yay!" Brittany jumps up and down and gives her a bone crushing hug, clinging to her. Santana tries to ignore it, but Brittany's arms wrapped around her make her feel safe and it feels so good to be that close to her with their bodies pressed together. It feels right. She realizes what she's thinking and steps back, clearing her throat.

"I need to get to work."

"Okay. Have fun waitering!"

Santana smiles as she's leaving. Even when Brittany messes up terms like 'waitressing', she can't help but find it adorable. If anyone else did that she would just call them stupid, but she knows Brittany isn't stupid. She's smart and beautiful... and soft... and has a great-

"Shut up, already, Lopez. She's just a friend." There. That should shut up those thoughts that she doesn't want. She's straight and she's sure that straight girls have 'girl crushes' every once in a while. That's all this is. Except a nagging voice in the back of the head reminds her that straight girls aren't attracted to other girls. And despite her best efforts to resist, she knows she's attracted to Brittany.

And she hates herself for it.

* * *

><p>Glee Club accepts her after her amazing audition, of course. Who wouldn't accept THE amazing Santana Lopez? They know she'll kick their ass if they don't, because despite the fact that she doesn't really want to be in Glee Club, Santana hates losing or being rejected from anything. Including a stupid singing group.<p>

The Glee Club meets after school the afternoon after her audition. Brittany isn't there yet so Santana sits down in a random seat in the back, observing her group mates. She recognizes a few people, like Puck, the tough lover-boy who has been trying to get into her pants since the beginning of the year.

Then, there's Mercedes. She's decent enough. She's nice and in Santana's math class. Santana doesn't know any of these other nerds.

A feminine looking boy smiles at her when he walks in and stretches out his hand, which she ignores. "Hi! I'm Kurt. Nice to officially meet you, Santana. Your audition yesterday was great!"

She raises an eyebrow but doesn't respond. He doesn't know who he's talking to. She decides to have a little fun. "Look, weirdo. I'm not here because I want to be, okay? I'm not here to make friends with any of you losers. I have a social life. You don't. I'm out partying while your stuck in your puny little houses moaning about how pathetic your little lives are. I'm only here because Brittany kept begging me to come. If you speak to me again I may be forced to get the football guys to shove you in a locker. Oh, wait. They already do that."

Kurt's smile evaporates and his look turns cool as he sits down two rows in front of her.

Brittany skips into the room and waves at Santana. "Hi San!" Santana's heart skips a beat but she ignores it. She's just stressed out, that's all. It has nothing to do with Brittany looking so cute in front of her.

Brittany sits next to her and, after a few more people pile into the room, Mr. Shuester begins.

He's soon interrupted, however, by a girl named Rachel Berry.

"I would just like to officially welcome our new member to Glee Club. If you have any questions, feel free to consult with my superior expertise. We always need backup singers and I'm sure you'll be a great addition."

She smiles at Santana like she actually said something nice and Santana rolls her eyes. Does this freak really think she's better than the one and only Santana Lopez? Nuh, huh. Not going to happen.

After Glee Club, during which Santana doesn't sing and only sits there, filing her nails and judging everybody, Brittany comes home with her to study.

"Wasn't that fun, Santana?"

"Uh, sure, Brittany. What's with that Rachel Berry girl though? She has the ugliest man hands I have ever seen."

Brittany shrugs. "She's really good, Santana, but she's a little full of herself. That's all."

As they're walking into the house, Brittany almost slips on a patch of ice and grabs her hand. "Whoa!" She giggles. Warmth shoots through Santana at the skin-on-skin contact of their hands. Brittany's hands are so soft. She immediately lets go of Brittany.

But she can still feel Brittany's soft, petite hand enclosing her own.


	5. Practice

Brittany walks toward her and smiles seductively, flipping her beautiful blond hair over her shoulder. "Hey Santana!"

"Hey Britt! Uh... what are you doing?"

Brittany just smirks and continues to slowly run her fingernails against Santana's upper arm, giving Santana goosebumps.

She feels frozen in place as she watches Brittany's face come closer and closer to her own until soft lips cover her own. A jolt of warmth runs through her as Brittany's arms wrap around her waist and pull her tight against Brittany's lithe, soft body.

Santana hears a moan that she thinks might have come from her as Brittany slams her back against the lockers and begins sucking on her neck.

Santana can't believe that Brittany is such an amazing kisser; she's never felt this way before and she doesn't want it to end.

Brittany's lips move back to her own and Brittany's tongue forces its way into her mouth and explores in an intoxicating way that Santana can only describe as pure ecstasy.

When Brittany finally pulls back, Santana wants to protest, and she's about to do so when she looks up and views the scene in front of her.

Their classmates are watching them as they laugh and point.

"What's wrong with you, Santana? That's so sick!" Rachel Berry's annoyingly chirpy voice isn't hard to find in the crowded hallway.

"I-I... It just... happened..." She can't look anyone in the eyes. She feels so ashamed.

"LOPEZ! You're off the team! I can't have any lesbos here!" Sue Sylvester yanks Santana's pom-poms (how did those get here?) out of Santana's hands and storms off.

Her parents materialize in front of her. "We are so disappointed in you, Santana! Why can't you be normal, like everyone else? You should look for another place to live. We can't have a lesbian as a daughter."

Everyone in the crowd begins throwing taunts at her: FREAK! DYKE! LOSER!

However, it's what Brittany says that makes her lose it: "I can't believe I was even interested in you."

Santana sinks to the floor of the school hallway and places her hands over her ears in an attempt to block out the symphony of insults, but there is nothing she can do to prevent the feeling of shame from creeping up and sneaking deep into the darkest parts of her soul.

Brittany walks up to her again with a disgusted look on her face. "You know, Santana, you're really pathetic! I can't-"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BE-

Santana hits the snooze as she sits up with a start and glances at her alarm clock. Frickin' 5 a.m. again. Ugh. What an awful dream! She's so glad no one has access to her dreams. What a nightmare that would be.

She's not a lesbian anyway.

She grabs her Cheerios uniform and a towel before heading to the bathroom down the hall for a quick shower.

She tries not to think about Brittany as she showers, combs her hair, and eats breakfast, but the dream plagues her and she can't seem to rid herself of that awful feeling of shame; as if there's something wrong with her.

When she gets to practice, though, her disobedient heart leaps in joy at the sight of Brittany, stretching on the field.

"Hey Santana! Ready for our first football game tonight? I'm so excited!"

Honestly, there are other things that Santana Lopez would rather be doing that watching football and cheering tonight, but she just smiles at Brittany and nods.

Brittany stretches out her right leg and reaches for her foot with her right hand and Santana can't help but admire Brittany's beautiful legs. Why couldn't they make these stupid cheer leading skirts longer or something? These thoughts are killing her. She's not a lesbian; she's not a lesbian; she's not a lesbian; she's not a lesbian; she's not-

"Santana? Are you okay? You look mad."

"Huh? I'm fine, Britt-Britt! Relax, okay? I'm just not in the mood for Sylvester's yelling rampage today, that's all."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." Brittany's brows rise because she knows Santana's lying, but she doesn't push the issue.

As they continue to wait for Sue, who is late for some reason, Santana can't help but shiver due to the coldness of the early morning air. She forgot to bring her sweatshirt today.

"Aw. Are you cold? Here. Let me help." Brittany puts an arm around Santana's shoulders and rubs her hand up and down Santana's arm. The warmth and strength of those lean fingers is hard to ignore and Santana gulps. This is not normal. She shouldn't be having these thoughts. Sue storming their way however interrupts her thoughts.

Somehow, she makes it through practice with only a few inappropriate thoughts about Brittany.

* * *

><p>It's not until the end of the week that Santana's dream becomes a reality. Well, parts of it at least.<p>

They're at Brittany's house, in her bedroom, just relaxing and doing their math homework, when Brittany suddenly glances up at her.

"Hey San? Have you ever been kissed?" Santana knows that Brittany has her first date tonight and she's worried about being kissed for the first time.

"Yeah. I had a boyfriend in middle school.""

Brittany turns on her bed to face Santana, sitting at Brittany's desk. "Was it nice?"

She shrugs. "It was okay, I guess." Brittany doesn't say anything else so Santana turns back to her stupid algebra equations.

"Santana? What if I'm bad at it?" Brittany says it so quietly that Santana almost doesn't hear her.

"You won't be bad at it, Britt."

"How do you know?" Because it's impossible, she wants to say.

Brittany suddenly gets up and moves to stand next to Santana. "Maybe... um... if I had practice... maybe you could help me or tell me if I'm bad..."

Santana's eyebrows rise. "What? You mean, you want me to ... kiss you? That's gross Brittany. Girls don't do that."

"Right. I know. But some girls do it to, you know, practice. That's all I meant."

Santana pauses and considers this. Well if it's technically for practice then there's certainly nothing wrong with it. Besides, she really wants to know what it feels like to kiss Brittany. Maybe once she kisses her it won't be so great and Santana can stop having these weird dreams like the one she had earlier this week.

"Okay. If it's for practice I'll do it.""

Brittany smiles uncertainly and closes her eyes, not moving an inch. Santana just stares at her in fear. What if she likes kissing Brittany? Will that mean she's a lesbian? She can't be a lesbian... no one will accept her.

Brittany's eyes open a fraction. "Santana? Are you going to kiss me or not?"

It's just a kiss. That's all. I mean, if she were to have sex with Brittany then, yeah, she would consider herself a lesbian. However, surely she can't know that she's a lesbian just by one kiss. That's impossible.

Santana stands up and hesitantly brushes back a few of Brittany's stray hairs. She leans forward, leaving her hands at her side, and presses her lips gently against Brittany's own. Brittany gasps in slight surprise at the soft contact and hesitatnly moves her lips against Santana's. It's even better than she imagined. Brittany tastes of honey and apples and something that can only be described as uniquely... Brittany: full of innocence and life.

After a few moments, Brittany pulls back and looks at Santana. "Wow. That was amazing. I didn't know kissing could be so great!"

"Yeah, it was okay." She sits back down but all she really wants to do is grab Brittany and pin her against the wall and kiss her silly.

Santana feels slight tears come to her eyes as a feeling of fear overpowers her. Kissing guys was never that wonderful. Santana wants to rage and shout that life is unfair but mostly she just wishes right now that she were anybody else.

Because Santana Lopez is a lesbian.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey everyone! I hope you all had terrific weeks! Please leave a review, even if it's only a few words (or just two words like "you rock" - haha ;)). It means a lot to me. Gracias :)<strong>


	6. Stupid Idea

She does something desperate. Later that night, after Brittany has left and Santana's thoughts just won't shut up, like an idiot she sneaks out of the house.

She finds the one guy in school who will help her without any questions, and he lets her into his house without a word. They sneak upstairs and he turns on his bedroom light.

"Wow, Santana. Change your mind fast, huh? Ready to get some of _this_ action?"

"Shut up, Puckerman. Just... do what you have to do already."

An eyebrow rises. "Are you a virgin?"

"No."

"Liar. You are. It's okay, I'll make it really special for you, San. You can trust me." He winks at her and she almost gags.

His lips attack her own furiously and Santana tries to remember that this will all be worth it...

* * *

><p>Later that night, Santana sneaks back into her room and cries, hating who she is and what she's done. As if having sex with Puckerman could make things better. What was she thinking? That clearly wasn't the answer. She tries to fall asleep but she cannot, so she does the only other thing she knows will help her calm down.<p>

"Hello?"

"Brittany?"

"Santana? What's wrong?"

"I did something stupid."

Brittany doesn't complain about the late hour or ask what trouble she could have possibly got into at 3 a.m. in the morning. She only asks, "What happened?"

"I... I, uh, had sex with Puckerman."

"Oh, San."

No condemnation. No anger. Brittany comforts her by eventually making her laugh and stays on the phone with her until Santana falls asleep.

* * *

><p>The next day the girls meet up at school. Brittany glances at Santana in concern.<p>

"How are you?"

Santana sighs and ignores Brittany's last statement as she asks instead, "How was your date last night?"

"Um... It was okay. He kissed me but it was kind of slobbery and not as good as when we did it."

A flare of hope sparks up in her but she ignores it. "That's too bad, Britt. Are you going to go out with him again?"

"No. I didn't really enjoy it. I'd rather just hang out with you."

This time it's impossible to ignore the feeling of joy that statement brings. "I'd rather hang out with you too, Brittany."

**Yes, I know. It's a very short chapter and I apologize. It's taken me forever to update because I've been caught up with the craziness of life and another story I'm working on, but I promise I'll send a much longer update soon. Review please :)**


	7. Here's Hoping

**Sorry - I hate to be one of those people apologizing for a late update again but I just discovered Harry Potter fanfiction. Along with another story and Harry Potter, I've been a little distracted ;).  
><strong>

"Hey Santana!" Brittany opens the door to Santana's bedroom and smiles.

"Hey, Britt! I didn't know you were coming over!"

Brittany smiles at her and then falters. "We need to talk."

"Okay?"

"I realized something after my date last week but I didn't want to upset you with all the stuff you've been going through."

"It's okay, Britt-Britt. You can tell me."

Brittany grabs Santana's hand and her traitorous heart jumps in surprise. She ignores it as they sit down on Santana's bed.

She watches Brittany clearly struggle with what she's going to say so Santana just squeezes her hand in reassurance.

"Santana. I think I like you."

"What?"

"I like you. Like a boyfriend, like you. When I was on that date I realized I would have rather been with you."

Santana's heart leaps for joy. Is this really happening?

"I like you that way too, Brittany."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I have for a while."

Without another word, Brittany crushes her lips upon Santana's, causing them to fall against the bed. Brittany's warm body hovers over her own body, and Santana pulls her closer. Brittany hesitates before biting Santana's neck gently and then smoothing it over with her tongue. Then, her eyes wander to Santana's chest and Santana knows where this is going.

And she welcomes it as Brittany's hands move to her chest and she moans in pleasure...

"Ms. Lopez! Are you paying attention?"

Santana glances up from her daydream and sighs. "Sorry. What did you say?"

Her teacher rolls his eyes. "Pay attention, Lopez, unless you want your grade in this class to fall exponentially."

"Yes sir."

As if he'd really lower her grade just because she wasn't paying attention. Most teachers let her be because Santana had gotten a reputation lately for being really pissed off. She fought someone just last week in her math class for making fun of Brittany. The jerk deserved it anyway. She's just glad she only got suspended for two days.

She doesn't know how much longer she can stand this.

Brittany has no freaking clue how Santana feels and it is killing her inside to be near her best friend and not have Brittany even realize how Santana feels.

Because Santana is in love with Brittany.

She doesn't know when it happened exactly. All she knows is that one day, Brittany arrived late to class and Santana was feeling so out of place. Other people tried to include her in their conversations or just ignored her.

When Brittany got there, though, Santana suddenly felt like this was exactly where she was supposed to be. She was surprised by the feelings and scared. It's one thing to be attracted to Brittany, but to be in love with her?

She thought at first it was just a phase; a crush. Yet, the feelings didn't disappear. Brittany makes her smile like no one else can. She makes her happy. She makes life so much better for Santana.

She just wishes she had the guts to tell her. If she tells Brittany that she loves her, Brittany will be disgusted, to say the least. _She'll think you're an idiot_.

"Shut up!" The kid sitting next to her in class gives her a wary look and inches away as far as his seat will allow. She just glares at him, loving the power it provides her to know that someone else is scared of her. Because she cannot control her feelings, but at least she can control something: other people's feelings about her.

When she arrives at Glee Club later that day, Brittany tackles her as soon as she enters the room.

"SANSANSANSANSAN! Guess what?"

"Mmph. Brittany, I can't breathe."

"Oh, sorry! Guess what? Mr. Tubbington had kittens! My mom just called and told me."

Santana quirks an eyebrow as they move to sit down. "Um, Brittany, I though Mr. Tubbington was a guy cat."

She looks confused. "He is. He had three kittens. I'm so excited!"

"Brittany. Guys can't have kittens. That means Mr. Tubbington is a female cat."

Brittany only looks at her. "No it doesn't, silly. The stork came and gave Mr. Tubbington the cats."

"Oh, right."

Mr. Schuester comes into the room, saving Santana from having to give Brittany a talk about the birds and the bees.

"All right guys! Has anyone finished their assignment yet?" Last week, Mr. Scheuster assigned them all to find a song to express how they are feeling about their life and sing it to the class. It had to be based on pop culture and their emotions. Ugh. Santana thought it was cheesy and that the guy was frankly running out of assignments to give.

"I have one, Mr. Schue." Brittany stands up and Santana is surprised. Brittany is a great singer but she rarely agrees to sing in front of others because it makes her nervous. Dancing is more her forte.

"All right, Brittany. Go ahead." Brittany nods to the mysterious piano guy who is always around and he gets out the sheet music. She's obviously been practicing with him.

The music starts and Santana is surprised because Brittany usually chooses upbeat songs. This song is not that way at all and it's really heartfelt.

_ "__And I'd give up forever to touch you  
>'Cause I know that you feel me somehow<br>You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
>And I don't want to go home right now<em>

_And all I can taste is this moment_  
><em>And all I can breathe is your life<em>  
><em>And sooner or later it's over<em>  
><em>I just don't wanna miss you tonight<em>

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's meant to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_  
><em>Or the moment of truth in your lies<em>  
><em>When everything feels like the movies<em>  
><em>Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive<em>

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's meant to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's meant to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_And I don't want the world to see me_  
><em>'Cause I don't think that they'd understand<em>  
><em>When everything's meant to be broken<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>

_I just want you to know who I am_  
><em>I just want you to know who I am<em>  
><em>I just want you to know who I am"<em>

Throughout the song, Brittan's eyes focus on Santana alone and Santana has to hold back tears. Brittany is so emotional during it too that she almost wonders if Brittany has feelings for her as well. But surely that's impossible. Brittany is straight and she's never implied it to her at all.

After she's done everyone claps and Rachel begins a long monologue about how she has a song they should sing for regionals and how everyone needs to listen to her. Yada, yada, yada.

Santana leans over to Brittany and whispers, "That was beautiful, Britt."

"Thanks, San. It was for you."

Santana fights the happiness running through her at those words but loses the battle when Brittany leans over and kisses her on the cheek shyly.

"You're my best friend, Santana."

And just like that, the little hope Santana possesses deflates.

* * *

><p>song - Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.<p>

**Please review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the long wait between updates! I hope you guys like the ending of the story - this is the last chapter :)**

Brittany just doesn't get it. Why is Santana so angry with her? What did she do wrong? She thought singing that song to her would help Santana finally get it: Brittany is in love with her.

She has been for a long time.

It didn't work, though, and now Brittany doesn't know what to do because Santana keeps avoiding her.

"Hi, is Santana there?" She calls Santana's home phone that night, because she has to do something about this.

"Look, whatever you're selling I don't want to buy it. Just leave me the hell alone. Bye-byes!"

"WAIT! San, it's Brittany."

"Oh. Hey Brittany."

"Listen, I know you're all acting weird like maybe unicorns actually don't exist or something because you're really sad but-"

"What?"

"Well, I mean, I would be sad if I thought unicorns didn't exist. Or Santa Claus. Anyway, I just need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk, Britt."

"But after I sung to you in Glee last week you've been avoiding me, San."

"I haven't been avoiding you."

"Yes, you have. I know what avoiding is. We do it to Rachel Berry all the time, especially after we put all those tampons in her locker so that they spilled out."

"Haha. Yeah, I remember that. She was so embarrassed. Right, anyway, I'm just really busy, Britt, that's all. I actually gotta go. My mom wants something."

"But-"

"Cya at school. Bye." Santana hangs up with a resounding click and Brittany stares at the phone in shock. Her best friend just hung up on her. At first, she just wants to give up and cry, but Brittany decides that she has to try one more thing.

* * *

><p>"AUGH!" She throws the phone across her room and lays back dramatically on her bed. Love really sucks when the person you love doesn't love you back.<p>

Brittany is her everything and sure it took her awhile to get used to the idea of actually liking a girl like that but Santana can't deny it anymore. She's in love with Brittany. She dreams about Brittany. She thinks about Brittany. She cries about Brittany. Somehow Brittany is always in her thoughts or actions through some manifestation or another. Since she can't be Brittany's girlfriend, Santana refuses to be her friend either. What's the point? It hurts too much to spend time with someone who doesn't love you back. It hurts too much to keep wishing and never move on.

Damn, this really does suck a lot.

PING!

She sits up with a start in her dark bedroom. What the hell was _that_?

PING!

Santana moves to her window and peers out. Brittany is standing outside, throwing something at her window.

She opens it and-"OW! Geez Britt. You hit me in the eye. Wait... is that an m & m?"

Brittany shrugs and whispers loudly. "I couldn't find any pebbles. Plus m & ms have cool colors. Pebbles don't unless I wanted to color them but that would take too long. Open the door."

Santana sighs and heads downstairs to open the front door. Brittany rushes in complaining about the freezing cold weather. They walk upstairs to Santana's room, she turns on the light, and she looks behind her to find Brittany staring sadly.

"What happened, San?"

"What do you mean?"

"I sung that song to you in Glee and ever since then you've been really distant, like Mr. Tubbington after I refuse to give him cheese fondue."

"Britt. I told you. I'm just really busy right now." Santana avoids Brittany's gaze as she pretends to be busy rubbing lotion on her hands.

"I love you." Brittany whispers it but to Santana its as if she shouted. She looks up at Brittany who is looking down at the floor.

"Wait, what? You... really? huh?"

Brittany finally looks up and meets her eyes as she walks toward her. "I love you, San. I thought singing that song would help you see how much I care about you."

Santana almost groans. Here she though Brittany was confessing her love for Santana when in reality she was just saying that she loves Santana as a friend.

"I did see that you care about me, Britt. Do we have to have this discussion in the middle of the frickin' night?"

"No. San, you don't get it. I love you." Brittany steps forward, pulls Santana into her, and her lips tenderly caress Santana's own. Santana feels Brittany's soft body against her as Santana's lips begin to furiously kiss Brittany back.

Before she knows what's happened, Brittany has her pushed tightly against the wall. Santana breaks the kiss as she breathes heavily, "You love me?

"Yeah, San. I... I want to be your girlfriend."

"I don't know, Britt. I don't want people talking about us."

"Who cares? They say Santa Claus isn't real but he is. I don't listen to them and you shouldn't either, silly."

"I-... Listen, Britt. Do you like secrets?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be your girlfriend but let's keep it a secret for now, okay?"

Brittany shrugs. "Like a game?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Brittany kisses Santana's neck and she moans. "Hey Britt?"

"Mm?"

"Love you too."

* * *

><p>Thanks for sticking with this story everyone! I hope the ending was okay? :) Please review.<p> 


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